Myths Come From Values, Not From Ignorance

Extracted from Cedars Digest

“…Similarly, the “we only use 10% of our brain” myth reflects a belief that we have untapped potential. This is surely true. Most of us at any given moment we have an awareness that our mind is not as focused as it could be. This might be because many of us get to occasionally experience those great moments that psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls “flow” when we are totally immersed in the task at hand. In all other times, we can observe our own mind wandering and feel the cognitive costs. We have also observed experts at work, doing things effortlessly which we could not even imagine. If we could only use 25% of our brain, that would be within our grasp! Like many brain myths, this doesn’t hold up to any scientific scrutiny. But the point is that most who endorse this myth in this see it as a neuroscientific translation of their belief in untapped cognitive potential. And they are right! We do have untapped potential. There doesn’t seem to be a limit to how much you can hold in your long term memory. And it seems to stay there forever! But this is not because we only use 10% of our brain….”

Read the whole article here….


the appeal of Personal Construct Psychology

Extract from An Introduction to PCP

by Peggy Dalton

It is unusual for a theory of personality to begin in the realm of philosophy, but we believe this is quite essential. Unless there is some understanding of the world in which the individual operates psychologically, it is very easy to make assumptions about that world. Indeed, most psychological theories make philosophical assumptions about the world in which they operate, but generally they do not do so explicitly.

George Kelly, on the other hand, quite explicitly brought up this issue at the outset, defining his philosophy as that of constructive alternativism. This imposing title is rather daunting but it is not really difficult to understand.

Essentially, he proposes that there is a real world out there. It exists, is interconnected and is in continual motion. As individuals we are continually trying to grasp that real world by constructing our own version of it. Kelly continually emphasised the importance of anticipation, saying ‘it is both the push and pull of the psychology of personal constructs’. A person is trying to anticipate real events. ‘It is the future that tantalises us, not the past. Always we reach out to the future through the window of the present’.

The constructions we make are infinitely variable and there are a huge range of alternative ways of construing and making sense of the same event. However, to the individual, whatever construction we make is real to us.

In one of his most often quoted paragraphs, Kelly wrote:

We take the stand that there are always some alternative constructions available to choose among in dealing with the world. No one needs to paint themselves into a corner; no one needs to be completely hemmed in by circumstances; no one needs to be the victim of their biography.

For all of us there are alternative ways of making sense of our experience, only bound by the rules we impose on ourselves. Those rules, being created personally, can be altered by personal choice also.

"Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he is." ~ Bhagavad Gita

Extract from  Personal Beliefs, Values, Basic Assumptions and Attitudes

By: Vadim Kotelnikov


The clearer you are about what you value and believe in, the happier and more effective you will be.

Beliefs are the assumptions we make about ourselves, about others in the world and about how we expect things to be. Beliefs are about how we think things really are, what we think is really true and what therefore expect as likely consequences that will follow from our behavior.

According to Jemie Smart, an NLP guru, you can model beliefs as ‘feed-forward’ mechanisms that sort and filter data in order to prove themselves to be true. Beliefs are valuable resources, generalizations that people use to give themselves a sense of certainty and a basis for decision-making in an uncertain and ambiguous world.


Values are about how we have learnt to think things ought to be or people ought to behave, especially in terms of qualities such as honesty, integrity and openness.

What Do You Believe About Yourself?

Many of the limitations you face in life are self-imposed. What you believe about yourself can keep you locked behind your fears or thrust you forward into living your dreams.

“We are what we think,” taught Buddha.

“Change your thinking, change your life,” said Ernest Holmes.

“If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you’re right,” advised Mark Twain.

You become what you believe you are. Think of yourself as a work in progress. Actually, we all are. Identify old limiting beliefs that may be holding you back and get rid of them

Love and knowledge are two great things in the world – when we share them their value always increases

What is Love?

There are a few Greek words for love, as the Greek language distinguishes how the word is used. Ancient Greek has four distinct words for love: agápe, éros, philía, and storgē. However, as with other languages, it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of these words. Nonetheless, the senses in which these words were generally used are given below.

  • Agápe (ἀγάπη agápē[1]) means “love,” such as in the term s’agapo (Σ’αγαπώ), which means “I love you.” In Ancient Greek, it often refers to a general affection or deeper sense of “true love” rather than the attraction suggested by “eros.” Agape is used in the biblical passage known as the “love chapter,” 1 Corinthians 13, and is described there and throughout the New Testament as sacrificial love. Agape is also used in ancient texts to denote feelings for one’s children and the feelings for a spouse, and it was also used to refer to a love feast. It can also be described as the feeling of being content or holding one in high regard. Agape was appropriated by Christians for use to express the unconditional love of God.[citation needed]
  • Éros (ἔρως érōs[2]) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Modern Greek word “erotas” means “intimate love;” however, eros does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia, love of friendship. It can also apply to dating relationships as well as marriage. Plato refined his own definition: Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Plato does not talk of physical attraction as a necessary part of love, hence the use of the word platonic to mean, “without physical attraction.” In the Symposium, the most famous ancient work on the subject, Plato has the middle-aged Athenian philosopher, Socrates, argue to aristocratic intellectuals and a young male acolyte in sexual pursuit of him, that eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty, and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth, the ideal “Form” of youthful beauty that leads us humans to feel erotic desire — thus suggesting that even that sensually-based love aspires to the non-corporeal, spiritual plane of existence; that is, finding its truth, just like finding any truth, leads to transcendence. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth through the means of eros.”
  • Philia (φιλία philía[3]) means friendship or affectionate love in modern Greek. It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philos denoted a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers.
  • Storge (στοργή storgē[4]) means “affection” in ancient and modern Greek. It is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring. Rarely used in ancient works, and then almost exclusively as a descriptor of relationships within the family. It is also known to express mere acceptance or putting up with situations, as in “loving” the tyrant.


  • We live in this world when we love it. ~ Rabindranath Tagore
  • Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. ~ The Bible : 1 Corinthians

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

~ The Bible : 1 Corinthians

  • Lian is a virtuous benevolent love. Lian should be pursued by all human beings, and reflects a moral life. ~ Confucius
  • Ai is universal love towards all beings, not just towards friends or family, without regard to reciprocation. ~ Mo Zi


  • One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love. ~ Sophocles
  • All you need is love. ~ John Lennon
  • In love, one and one are one. ~ Jean-Paul Sartre
  • True love doesn’t come to you it has to be inside you. ~ Julia Roberts
  • What a grand thing, to be loved! What a grander thing still, to love! ~ Victor Hugo
  • The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. ~ Victor Hugo
  • The first duty of love is to listen. ~ Paul Tillich
  • The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost. ~ G. K. Chesterton
  • Grow old along with me the best is yet to be. ~ Robert Browning
  • Love comforteth like sunshine after rain. ~ William Shakespeare

In ordinary use, love usually refers to interpersonal love.

Interpersonal love is love between human beings, and is more sympathetic than the notion of very much liking for another. Although feelings are usually reciprocal, there can also be unrequited love. Interpersonal love is usually found in an interpersonal relationship, such as between family members, friends, and couples. However, people often express love for other people outside of these relationships through compassionate outreach and volunteering.

Some elements that are often present in interpersonal love2:

  • Affection: appreciation of other
  • Attachment: satisfying basic emotional needs
  • Reciprocation: if love is mutual
  • Commitment: a desire to maintain love
  • Emotional intimacy: sharing emotions and feelings
  • Kinship: family bonds
  • Passion: sexual desire
  • Physical intimacy: sharing of personal space
  • Self-interest: desiring rewards
  • Service: desire to help
By russab2001 Posted in Love Tagged

A Positive Global Vision of Healing and Flourishing through Meaning

The International Network on Personal Meaning (INPM) is pleased to announce the 7th Biennial International Meaning Conference to be held July 26-29, 2012 in Toronto, Canada. The main conference theme is: A Positive Global Vision of Healing and Flourishing through Meaning.

In today’s climate of global economic uncertainty, geopolitical conflicts, ecological crisis, and the widening gap between haves and have-nots, the meaning perspective offers a promising vision to resolve these challenging global issues and achieve sustainable growth for both individuals and society.

The conference will highlight the role of meaning in well-being, flourishing, character strengths, resilience, post-traumatic growth, spirituality, psychotherapy, healing, recovery, and positive organizations. It will emphasize both cutting edge research and the application of research findings to meaningful living.

We will host a number of summits involving the most creative minds and best known experts to explore new frontiers and find new solutions. We believe that the meaning-mindset offers an alternative global vision for developing healthy communities and living rewarding lives. The pre-conference professional workshops will cover the latest developments in counselling and psychotherapy.

The conference will place a premium on providing delegates with opportunities for interactions with participants from different theoretical camps and cultures. Through cross-fertilization, integration and networking, we hope that we can find new pathways to make life better for all.

In order to make this conference more accessible, we will offer the option of Virtual Attendance through online conferencing.

CEU credits will be available to psychologists and counsellors.

Confirmed keynote speakers:

  1. Christopher Peterson, PhD – Meaning and Mattering: Perspectives from Positive Psychology
  2. Laura King, PhD – Noticing Meaning in Everyday Life:  Pleasure, Intuition, and Magic
  3. Robert Neimeyer, PhD – Mourning and Meaning:  The Narrative Arc of Traumatic Loss
  4. Jordan Peterson, PhD – Redemption and Psychology in Christianity
  5. Mark Kingwell, PhD – Happiness and the Art of Play
  6. Todd Kashdan, PhD – The Science of Spirituality: Essential and Impossible
  7. Salvatore Maddi, PhD – Hardiness Protects Against Internet Addiction and Excessive
    Consumer Spending
  8. Emmy van Deurzen, PhD – The Meaning of Suffering: Emotional Life and our Reasons for Being
  9. George Bonanno, PhD – Trauma, Flexibility, and Meaning
  10. Alan Waterman, PhD – Identity and Meaning:  Contrasts of Existentialist and Essentialist Perspectives
  11. Paul T.P. Wong, PhD – The Meaning-Mindset as the Foundation for Healing and Flourishing
  12. Richard Ryan, PhD– Self-determination Theory and Eudaimonic Living: Research on Basic Psychological Needs for Wellness and Meaning


A personal value is extremely absolute or relative ethical value, the assumption of which can be the basis for ethical action. A value system is a set of consistent values and measures. A principle value is a foundation upon which other values and measures of integrity are based. Those values which are not physiologically determined and normally considered objective, such as a desire to avoid physical pain, seek pleasure, etc., are considered subjective, vary across individuals and cultures and are in many ways aligned with belief and belief systems. Types of values include ethical/moral value, doctrinal/ideological (religious, political) values, social values, and aesthetic values. It is debated whether some values which are not clearly physiologically determined are intrinsic such as altruism and whether some such as acquisitiveness should be valued as vices or virtues. Values have typically been studied in sociology, anthropology, social psychology, moral philosophy, and business ethics.

Values can be defined as broad preferences concerning appropriate courses of action or outcomes. As such, values reflect a person’s sense of right and wrong or what “ought” to be. “Equal rights for all”, “Excellence deserves admiration”, and “People should be treated with respect and dignity” are representative of values. Values tend to influence attitudes and behavior. For example, if you value equal rights for all and you go to work for an organization that treats its managers much better than it does its workers, you may form the attitude that the company is an unfair place to work; consequently, you may not produce well or may perhaps leave the company. It is likely that if the company had a more egalitarian policy, your attitude and behaviors would have been more positive.

Read more here..

The power of values..

Extracted from Roy Posner “The Power of Personal Values”…

“…A value is a belief, a mission, or a philosophy that is meaningful. Whether we are consciously aware of them or not, every individual has a core set of personal values. Values can range from the commonplace, such as the belief in hard work and punctuality, to the more psychological, such as self-reliance, concern for others, and harmony of purpose.

When we examine the lives of famous people, we often see how personal values guided them, propelling them to the top of their fields. For example, one actor was motivated by his commitment to social justice, which led to important acting roles related to that value that made him world famous. Likewise, a well-known business CEO was motivated by the personal value that technology should be easy to use, which caused his company to spawn a technology revolution. Whatever one’s values, when we take them to heart and implement them in the smallest details of our lives, great accomplishment and success are sure to follow…”



Accomplishment, Success




All for one & one for all


Calm, quietude, peace




Cleanliness, orderliness







Concern for others


Content over form

Continuous improvement




Customer satisfaction



Delight of being, joy






Ease of Use









Family feeling


Freedom, Liberty





Global view




Hard work









Inner peace, calm, quietude









Love, Romance


Maximum utilization
(of time, resources)






Other’s point of view, inputs


Peace, Non-violence


Personal Growth








Prosperity, Wealth


Quality of work




Respect for others



Rule of Law


Satisfying others






(to others, society)



Solving Problems


Spirit, Spirituality in life




Succeed; A will to-